I was reading in the Word this morning, how God disciplines us and that at the time, it seems painful, but later produces a harvest of righteousness and peace.
I reflected for a moment upon the evidence of this in my life, and I smiled.
There have been seasons in my life, where I see Jesus has allowed pain. I surely have and did question "why?", but there is no denying the fruit that was produced there. Knowing His character, and that He is unchanging, produced in me peace, when my world was being shaken up.
And as the years went by, it produced also joy.
An unalterable joy.
I began to see how His discipline and wrought in me, where I had allowed it, a knowing of His truth and purity. Where I had let the pain cause me to align myself to Gods Word, it had produced fruit. And the knowing of it, made me wish I could go back to the painful season and shout from the sidelines "hold back nothing Fleur, give it all youve got". His faithfulness had drawn me to myself, and saved me from myself. And I see evidence of His favour, blessing. A 'heaven on earth' that is mine.
Monday, 21 January 2013
Thursday, 6 October 2011
Less of me...
Its been pressing upon my heart lately, staring me in the face often.. my insecurities, doubts and questions beckon me to admit that I will never see the power of Christ if there is ME seeking my own worth there. I faced it again this week as I often leave the presence of someone dear to me, feeling inferior. I know boundaries are important but the bigger question is: do I seek my value there? See, if I were really consumed with the wanting to allow Christ to work His blessing out of me, my mind would not dwell upon what I am worth, or what treatment I feel I deserve. And as I presented my worries before God once more, I knew the answer before I asked.. John 3 He must increase, but I must decrease.
"how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ!" In Jesus Christ alone, will I find the abundance of grace and the gift. And he must reign!
I guess too often I see in myself and those around me, the tendency to hold dear to our own feelings and our sense of worth, value and belonging, at the cost of the power and presence of Jesus. I heard someone tell me this week "I would love to be involved in that ministry, but I dont feel like Im 'there' yet". I knew what that person meant, but it was so contrary to the truth.. we will never arrive, we will never meet the mark, and by what do we measure being right for ministry? Ive been party to this lie many a time but its a falsehood, a deception which is hidden under a bigger and more ugly truth we dont like to admit: that we are simply proud and pleasure seeking sinners who are nothing but for Christ. If being 'in ministry' demands the discipline and self sacrifice that hearts tell us it does, are we shy of beating our flesh into submission for His sake? Often we are... and why? because the vision, the true miracle of the Cross grows dull in us. When we see Him face to face, when we behold with our own eyes the scars, the lamb, the sorrow and our Saviour, our minds will realise what our hearts always knew.. that we are so very nothing, and our giving our lives for Him is the least we could do. Lord, let that truth burn in us now... so we can stand before you and see the pleasure of Your face on that day.
"how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ!" In Jesus Christ alone, will I find the abundance of grace and the gift. And he must reign!
I guess too often I see in myself and those around me, the tendency to hold dear to our own feelings and our sense of worth, value and belonging, at the cost of the power and presence of Jesus. I heard someone tell me this week "I would love to be involved in that ministry, but I dont feel like Im 'there' yet". I knew what that person meant, but it was so contrary to the truth.. we will never arrive, we will never meet the mark, and by what do we measure being right for ministry? Ive been party to this lie many a time but its a falsehood, a deception which is hidden under a bigger and more ugly truth we dont like to admit: that we are simply proud and pleasure seeking sinners who are nothing but for Christ. If being 'in ministry' demands the discipline and self sacrifice that hearts tell us it does, are we shy of beating our flesh into submission for His sake? Often we are... and why? because the vision, the true miracle of the Cross grows dull in us. When we see Him face to face, when we behold with our own eyes the scars, the lamb, the sorrow and our Saviour, our minds will realise what our hearts always knew.. that we are so very nothing, and our giving our lives for Him is the least we could do. Lord, let that truth burn in us now... so we can stand before you and see the pleasure of Your face on that day.
Sunday, 25 September 2011
He guides me along the right paths.. Psalm 23
1.The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He provides for me all my needs. Right now I am believing and waiting on him for 2 things: something really practical and fun for the kids outside, like a trampoline. And a pair of flattering feminine jeans. The latter sounds trifle but Ive always just rushed out to get what I need/want when it comes to my wardrobe. I really want to honour Him in my wardrobe and let this be an area which reflects His loving provision. Matthew 6:27 And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
Often I look to other things for refreshment. Time away from the kids. A good book. Time in front of the computer. A bit of craft. But my Father knows what I need before I even need it. He knows the need of my heart and soul for being nourished and ministered to and takes care of it. I can trust Him to fill my soul with the deepest measures of peace as I wait and rest in Him.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
His hand is in mine, He is faithful to keep me close.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
When the path is narrow and dark, just like in my vision, He is there. He will not let me fall. He will hold me and walk with me. I dont need to be afraid of the unknowns, of the impending disasters that the world fears... He is there!
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
He provides and esteems me, right in front of my enemies!
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
Look upon my life and see His favour. It is with me wherever I go. And then I will walk into the presence of the Lord for all eternity
He provides for me all my needs. Right now I am believing and waiting on him for 2 things: something really practical and fun for the kids outside, like a trampoline. And a pair of flattering feminine jeans. The latter sounds trifle but Ive always just rushed out to get what I need/want when it comes to my wardrobe. I really want to honour Him in my wardrobe and let this be an area which reflects His loving provision. Matthew 6:27 And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
Often I look to other things for refreshment. Time away from the kids. A good book. Time in front of the computer. A bit of craft. But my Father knows what I need before I even need it. He knows the need of my heart and soul for being nourished and ministered to and takes care of it. I can trust Him to fill my soul with the deepest measures of peace as I wait and rest in Him.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
His hand is in mine, He is faithful to keep me close.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
When the path is narrow and dark, just like in my vision, He is there. He will not let me fall. He will hold me and walk with me. I dont need to be afraid of the unknowns, of the impending disasters that the world fears... He is there!
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
He provides and esteems me, right in front of my enemies!
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
Look upon my life and see His favour. It is with me wherever I go. And then I will walk into the presence of the Lord for all eternity
Thursday, 22 September 2011
Jeremiah 33:3
This was the first ever memory verse I learned as a wee girl "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and marvellous things you do not know". Its inscribed upon my heart. It awakened in me a passion, a longing, a promise.. that if I call upon my Lord, if I see Him, He will whisper in my ear the secrets of heaven, He will open up the eyes of my faith to the things only He sees.
The only way I can describe this week is through that verse. Its as if God has reawakened a longing in me to live ABOVE the worlds perspective, I no longer want to be a mere Christian dwelling here, doing my time. I want to dare to believe and dream that I can live in the fullness of the presence of Jesus. That my life can be lost in Him. That my eyes will see what He sees. That my ears will hear the things of heaven.
And yes, Im scared. Scared not of what I will see and hear. Scared I will slowly allow the busyness of life, the things of this world, creep over my life and bring about dullness. I keep asking Jesus "keep my eyes on you Father". Today He whispered to me "Ive never let you go.. I wont stop holding you near". Just like spring has let its presence be known with the upcoming blossoms and warmth of the sun, I feel like Jesus has let spring come into my soul. And I am rich because of it.
The only way I can describe this week is through that verse. Its as if God has reawakened a longing in me to live ABOVE the worlds perspective, I no longer want to be a mere Christian dwelling here, doing my time. I want to dare to believe and dream that I can live in the fullness of the presence of Jesus. That my life can be lost in Him. That my eyes will see what He sees. That my ears will hear the things of heaven.
And yes, Im scared. Scared not of what I will see and hear. Scared I will slowly allow the busyness of life, the things of this world, creep over my life and bring about dullness. I keep asking Jesus "keep my eyes on you Father". Today He whispered to me "Ive never let you go.. I wont stop holding you near". Just like spring has let its presence be known with the upcoming blossoms and warmth of the sun, I feel like Jesus has let spring come into my soul. And I am rich because of it.
Wednesday, 21 September 2011
Just as he had done before.
I read the other night again through the last chapters of Daniel, from 6 on. We know the story.. Daniel prays and gets thrown into the Lions Den and survives unscratched. But Ive skipped over a few poignant words in this story many times.. 6:10 "giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before".
See the pattern of prayer and thanksgiving has to be in place as a discipline of life.. because the hard times do come and the tests and persecution can be expected. The discipline to hold to the truth is there because He, our Father, has proven Himself over and over.
Eric Ludy calls it tensile strength.. the pressure a material can handle before it deforms, ie rope, metal etc. Tensile is strength is measured in adding weight a bit at a time.. and in the life of Daniel, his tensile strength was surely put to the test when he faced the Lions! But it had been grown in the quiet places of secret devotion, prayer and thanksgiving.. the who knows how many days and years before he faced the miracle.
For me as a mum... today Im tired. Tensile strength. Im learning I can cope with much less sleep than I deem necessary. I remember when Tim had colic and I was thrust into sleepless nights where day and night he would scream for 2hrs, every few hours. During those first couple of exhausting months, I felt I would go insane with fatigue and stress. Tensile strength.. by Gods grace I coped. I wouldnt want to repeat them in a heartbeat, but God used them to strengthen in me an awareness that BY HIS GRACE AND ENERGY we can get through the days to come.. like that song "because He lives, I can face tomorrow". God, may your abounding strength and joy be the sustenance of my day.. be to me my daily bread. Grow in me a backbone that is not my own.
See the pattern of prayer and thanksgiving has to be in place as a discipline of life.. because the hard times do come and the tests and persecution can be expected. The discipline to hold to the truth is there because He, our Father, has proven Himself over and over.
Eric Ludy calls it tensile strength.. the pressure a material can handle before it deforms, ie rope, metal etc. Tensile is strength is measured in adding weight a bit at a time.. and in the life of Daniel, his tensile strength was surely put to the test when he faced the Lions! But it had been grown in the quiet places of secret devotion, prayer and thanksgiving.. the who knows how many days and years before he faced the miracle.
For me as a mum... today Im tired. Tensile strength. Im learning I can cope with much less sleep than I deem necessary. I remember when Tim had colic and I was thrust into sleepless nights where day and night he would scream for 2hrs, every few hours. During those first couple of exhausting months, I felt I would go insane with fatigue and stress. Tensile strength.. by Gods grace I coped. I wouldnt want to repeat them in a heartbeat, but God used them to strengthen in me an awareness that BY HIS GRACE AND ENERGY we can get through the days to come.. like that song "because He lives, I can face tomorrow". God, may your abounding strength and joy be the sustenance of my day.. be to me my daily bread. Grow in me a backbone that is not my own.
Monday, 19 September 2011
Im waiting, waiting on you Lord
My hubby climbed the Mount this morning, his heart just to cry out and seek our Lord on the many decisions that face us right now. They arent so much decisions that press.. just that we want to make sure that we are exactly where Christ would have us. Aligned to His Word and perfect will. Not just good. Not just well. But His BEST. Like His Word.. "Seek first". We havent always "sought first" His Kingdom.. in truth, there have been areas of our life where we intended to do that, but have somehow just tagged Him in,.. areas where we have been less that sold out for Him. Weve committed the next few days to praying apart for direction on whether we should stay in our present home. We will come together on Friday night and see what we feel God is saying. Im so excited. I couldnt care if we were to sell or stay put or move to a shed.. I just so yearn to know that we are precisely where He would see us most fit for His Kingdom.
I managed to get myself out of bed this morning at 6:30am to pray. This is by no means heroic in the terms of the saints.. but a step for me. I crept down the stairs and the moment I sat to pray, my heart was filled with excitement. Joy for the anticipation of being in His presence. I quickly realised that Im going to have to set my alarm earlier.. 30min barely seems enough time to pour out my heart, let alone hear His. But I rejoice because He is here. In my home. In my heart. Lord, Im surrendered.
Im thankful too because my dear Nate has a virus at the moment and spent all afternoon yesterday coughing. I prayed. Last night he slept beautifully and hardly coughed! This is something of a miracle, I was fully prepared for the onslaught of Ventolin and no sleep.. but God heard my cry. Thankyou God!
As I go about today, Im really excited to be able to rest all my promises and dreams upon the Lord. To not have to plan, vex, write up mission statements or be anxious for any of the things He has in store. His Word says "seek first His kingdom, and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you". I know my role is to PRAY PRAY PRAY! I cant wait Lord to see what You will do, when You see fit.. I will wait on You. I love you God. Your princess. Fleur
Im thankful too because my dear Nate has a virus at the moment and spent all afternoon yesterday coughing. I prayed. Last night he slept beautifully and hardly coughed! This is something of a miracle, I was fully prepared for the onslaught of Ventolin and no sleep.. but God heard my cry. Thankyou God!
As I go about today, Im really excited to be able to rest all my promises and dreams upon the Lord. To not have to plan, vex, write up mission statements or be anxious for any of the things He has in store. His Word says "seek first His kingdom, and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you". I know my role is to PRAY PRAY PRAY! I cant wait Lord to see what You will do, when You see fit.. I will wait on You. I love you God. Your princess. Fleur
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