One morning, I went into the kitchen and began making a hot drink. I turned around and Sam froze in his steps and gave me a command: "Don't move". My heart instantly pounded in my chest while I stopped dead in my tracks. Everything in me wanted to scream, run and panic. I had no idea what 'fear' lurked upon my shoulder, and I wasn't sure I wanted to know. I looked to Sam's eyes for assurance, but his eyes were scanning for a blunt nearby object for which he could admit the blow of death, to this 'thing' on my shoulder. I finally mustered some measure of courage to look at my shoulder, and saw a large White Tailed spider, creeping slowly down my bare shoulder. Instinct finally kicked in and I flung it off with my hand, let out a decent scream, falling into Sam's arms in tears.
You see, these spiders have a reputation as being dangerous, apparently they cause infection, disease, pain, even hospitilization. And our home often gets them. The very sight of one leaves me paralyzed. I can barely muster up the courage to squish it.. and my skin stands on end when I watch them slowly crawl along the walls. They usually come out at night which is worse.. right on climbing into bed to rest, one has to do a surveillance of the ceilings to make sure they wont be crawling onto my pillow... or worse, in my sheets.
But here is the reality: there is little evidence actually pointing to the horrible danger of a white tail spider. There are stories, but few actually documented and precisely linked to the potential of their bite. There are factors, and always worst case scenarios... but in truth, it seems most need little more than a course of antibiotics to clear up any (if any) residual infection caused by their bite. Im not saying that I want to play guinea pig to prove the point! :).. but isnt fear like that?
Full of foreboding and worst case scenarios, lurking about in dark places, creeping in on your most peaceful hour ready to deliver the blow. Hearts full of adrenalin, we start to panic.
The enemy of our souls uses fear everyday to control us like puppets. Foreboding sits on our shoulder delivering threats, whispering untruth and torment into our souls, so that were paralyzed and panicked.
Oh how very far from that does Jesus want us to live.
I love Psalm 23 "Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil". Why, why wouldn't I fear??.... "for you are with me".
Back last month, a dear woman of God, Melva Moyle, unexpectedly died. She had lived through an illness that she should not have survived, she had learnt to walk again, run, bike. She glowed. She smiled and beamed the presence of God. At her funeral, her son spoke and said "thankyou for giving me the gift of dying without fear". She walked through the valley.. but she wasnt afraid.. why? Because God was there.
Freedom from fear is not just a nice poetic concept, its a reality we can walk in. Its not just pumped up in positive thinking. Its not building our lives on the untruth that we will know no pain, or that spiders wont ever lurk on our shoulders. Our lives are not free from trouble. They never will be. But they can be free from fear!
Im hungry not just to know that power more in my own life, but to see a generation of people around me live in the power of truth that will set them free. To this end, and to this beginning, I mark this blog.
This week I have set my path on a new course. To not dilly about in the valleys of passivity, to not just pander with the pansies and enjoy the freedom of the meadows, but to dare to delve into the rocky high roads, to tredge through the muddy paths, the slippery slopes. I dont go alone. Jesus holds me ALL the way. I dedicate this blog to the power of His hand in mine, and the promise that our prayers wont go unheard and the anticipated joy as I see Him come through.
Come with me!
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