In 60days it will be our 10th Wedding Anniversary. Ive been so looking forward to celebrating it with Sam. Celebrating dreams come true, a richer love, knowing each other deeper, 4 beautiful children.. so many wonderful reasons to reflect with smiles upon the 'goodness that has followed us'. Weve ticked off many of our plan list together. There is a measure of fulfillment of "ahhh, this is as we hoped".
But there exists within me an excitment for a new chapter ahead.this year has also marked for me in many ways, a stirring, the anticipation of more. It wasnt that I expected more externally, yet within, I hoped and prayed for more. For more of Jesus, for a life lived more dependent on Him. For a joy that springs from something unshakeable. For a clarity in our vision. For a chapter in which I knew nothing of its contents, or its ending.
And God has heard my cry.
These past few months, my life has felt, well, sifted. Sometimes the things that have come up, have hurt to the core. Sometimes Ive physically ached as Ive wrestled it through. Ive laid awake many nights, talking through matters with my Maker. But there's just been this, well, hope. This unmistakable knowing that though my life is being harrowed, though the ground is being turned over, that out of this, a harvest can surely come.
Im undoubtedly nervous, but greater still, Im hopeful. Im expectant of Him who can turn water into wine, who knows my deepest desires, who fashions me fit.
Im expectant of a God who can take our ordinary family, warts and all, and mould us into something sharp and strong for His glory.
Ive started running and exercising this week. Just as my soul is in training, I want my body ready for whatever He has in mind. I want my life disciplined and fit for the purpose for which He wants it outpoured. Oh Lord, mark our anniversary, not by human affection, romance and tenderness (though all are lovely), mark it with a heavenly hope, a glorious taste of the eternal, a love for You that surpasses all.
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