Blessed are the insulted..

Ive wrestled with Matthew 5 a huge amount this past week.
The Bible says ^{(Matt 5:11)} “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you".
Ive wrought hard in my spirit to not just swallow it, like some candy coated pill, but to chew it. To taste it all. Its apparent bitterness and its goodness.
And I admit, its not the easiest to swallow. Somehow, finding myself setting up camp in this training field when I was hoping to avoid it, just doesnt make me want to jump for joy. Not in my flesh anyhow.

So I found myself reading over that verse tonight again, and chewing it through. "Blessed?".. did I read that right? Okay, so whats my blessing? .... Eternal reward.

I am going to be straight. Looking from earthly perspective at the insults that come our way, one is quite entitled to means of self justification, anger, resentment, bitterness, ill thought and revenge. Insults can undermine the very nature of who you are, and then they occupy all your energy in self preservation and self analysis. The thing is, that just doesnt look 'Blessed'. And I for one arent particularly lifted by the idea of waiting till Ive departed, till I am treated right and can see a reward that might come out of it. 

Its been my experience that insults and revilement have the tendency to cause me pain, not just emotional pain, but like a pain in the pit of my stomach, like Ive been punched in the guts, or stabbed in the chest. And the moment I feel that pain, I try to wrap myself up. I can hear the self preservation voices yelling "retreat retreat" and the self doubt voices saying "they might be right" and the condemnation voices whispering "you deserved it, you are nothing". 

Recognising it for what it is, is step one of the battle. Its a tactic of the enemy. A clever one, he uses believable people. Even people you respect and love. He delivers it in such a nice package, you take it, and you dont question that it smells sour.. I mean.. how could it be sour, when it comes from someone so dear? Discern its source. If it reeks of condemnation, confusion, hopelessness, accusation... its every bit likely, it hasnt come from the Lord. 

His Word says: 'My sheep know my voice'. I have tasted first hand, that I am never so close to God, as when the wolf is trying to attack me. I find myself running back to the Shepherds feet and hiding in Him, listening to His voice, so I can be soothed by the strong resonating hum of the truth of His Word.. ("Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me"). 

Truly, if the insults lead me closer to Jesus.. than yes, I am blessed! Blessed far beyond what I could know. What could be sweeter, than to be closer to Him?! xx