More Than Flowers..

Someone once asked me "how do you know Sam will be faithful to you?". It was a valid question. They were questioning my assurance of his commitment to his vows. They'd experienced what it was to be decieved, to have their heart broken, to be cheated on. So their question was simply this: we are all human, therefore, why would you trust in a man?

What a valid question.

No one has shown me a picture of faithfulness here on earth, like Sam has. He had loved me, before he knew me. He had kept all the most precious and deepest things of his heart, just for me, even before I was on the scene. My confidence in his faithfulness was that he proved it, long before I was his, and he was mine.

If I were honest with that friend that day, I would have told her, that if I had anyone I was most doubtful of, it was myself. No, not because I am not wholeheartedly and absolutely enraptured with Samuel James Cahill. But because I am human. Because the Bible speaks clearly "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it" Jeremiah 17:9.

I read a friends post the other day; 'Is anybody a worse enemy to you than you are? Has anyone lied to you more than you've lied to you? Anyone broken promises to you more than you've broken promises to you? No. You're the problem. God is the answer!' Matt Chandler.

Faithfulness Ive found, requires a rawness, requires a sacrifice of pride and a willingness to walk in the light. It requires a broken-ness which yields a fragrance that is so beautiful. Where's is its foundation? The Cross!

Faithfulness starts in the heart. Its the small decisions. Its the transparency with Jesus Christ first, and then one another. Those secret and quiet decisions are so important... its from there that either life or death is borne.

Some things that Ive learnt along the way...

*Fill your minds with good things! For me, faithfulness is not simply keeping my body for Sam, but my heart, mind, attitudes and decisions. Comparison is often the worst way in which we breed unfaithfulness. We compare, and our own insecurities come to the surface. Instead of celebrating anothers joy, we commiserate over our own dissapointments and unmet needs. Ive learnt to take such thoughts quickly to the Cross and remember afresh; only Jesus can fulfill the deepest desires of my life! Ive learnt to think upon the things of God and things that are good, right, pure etc! It not only frees me to love on Sam, but to recieve love from Sam without him having to 'fill my tank'.

*Leave no area out: My Visa card used to have a picture of Sam on it.. simply to remind me everytime I pulled it out "does this financial decision prove faithfulness". The smallest of areas matter! Dont let anything become an area that is 'hidden' from your spouse. If your unmarried, work now to be faithful! Faithfulness starts long before that wedding day. Sam lets me read all his communication from cellphones to facebook messages, and he is welcome to do the same with me. We have friends of the same sex who share things in confidence and its not always wise to confide those things in our spouses.. but as a rule.. there are no secrets! From hidden bags of bought clothing to hidden notes. Its all in the light!

*Think things through to the end. Sometimes as woman, living in moments of insecurity and fear, we can have these fantasies of being whisked off our feet by someone incredibally adoring and wonderful.. and even if for but a flash, something within goes "oh thats appealing". When these thoughts have flashed across my mind, I think them through to the end! Sin is ugly! Suddenly, when Im staring at the end picture, devastated lives, ugliness, unhealthyness, broken-ness, heartache, pain, loss, destroyed lives... its reality no longer even sits on the shelf with any enticement.

*Be accountable. I have friends that I welcome their rebuke and input. I have wisely chosen a few select friends who I can share honestly with. Whose wisdom I welcome. How I conduct myself around others, in how I interact in friendships, and how I live out my life. Their counsel has often been so refreshing in my life. And I know its true when the Bible says that "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." Proverbs 27:6. I want to add here a side note, dont be 'touchy' with such dear friends. Its a risk to them to be honest and they, like you, are learners. Value them, make it easy for them to be real!

*Stay in the Word and pray together. The fastest road to failure is to simply walk without Jesus.
I have some amazing Godly friends who I so look to up to. Their lives radiate the love of Christ. They would cringe if I boasted their perfection. In truth, they are people who have been broken and surrendered to the foot of the Cross. Their stories of redemption testify to Gods grace. They are lives whove been redeemed, whove been lifted out of the mud. And I LOVE them. I love that their lives radiate their daily walk with Him. Pray alone and together. One couple I know, have an auto text that comes up every evening at the same time "pray together". When it beeps, and we are there, I can almost feel the smile of Jesus upon them.

*Lay down your lives for each other. 'Fireproof', is one of my favourite movies ever. He treats her badly, she falls for another man, and their marriage looks shattered. But he comes to the Cross and finds what true love is! From that place, he loves on her, even when unreturned, he keeps winning her heart. He counts no sacrifice too great! Its such a reminder to me... count nothing too much for your spouse.. from cleaning up the kitchen table when you dont feel like, letting your spouse sleep in on Saturday morning when youve been up all night, to giving up the last piece of chocolate or cake. Sometimes I dont 'feel' like doing it! In those times I remember, 'someone' else probably would. Love your spouse, as you do Jesus!!

I love the lyrics of this song..

"I want you to see me
living out my love for you daily
I want you to hear me
adoring you with every word I speak
I want you to catch me
serving you in ways you won't suppose to see
It's then you'll know
Far more than flowers could ever show