Life Beyond Facebook

Today I spent half the day completely re arranging furniture. I moved almost the entire contents of our learning room out. Moved my sewing closet into the upstairs bedroom, and moved the boys beds into the learning room and sat back feeling entirely pleased with myself. I nodded in achievement in creating more space for the boys. Tonight the boys are all away camping, so as I tucked Amy down into bed, her and I, and my newly arranged home, I had time to just stare around. I found myself thinking how they were a whole flight of stairs away from my cuddles, my listening ear, my attention. Sure, in their teens, the idea is great. But they are still fairly young.. Deciding I wasnt ready for that, I promptly kissed Amy goodnight and set about completely rearranging the furniture. Sweating and heaving beds and bases up and down the stairs, I asked myself what was I thinking. Another hour or more later, the furniture is back to as it was this morning. The whole experience had me pondering how Id been so ready to arrange our lives around this theory of needed space, but had overlooked how togetherness matters most, right now. I thought about how Facebook had been a bit like that for me. The tendency to structure my life and time there, around things that arent for me, at least now. And in doing so, to miss what matters most. One evening, back in early Feb, God drew me to a verse.. 1 Timothy 5:13 Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to. This verse is written specifically for young widows. However, many in our culture can identify with a young widow. We are not widowed of husbands, per say, but widowed of our role in society, a sense of purpose. Widowed of a calling which the world no longer deems so important. Widowed of a sense of fulfillment. Perhaps then, our struggle is no different.. the void of belonging.. the emptiness of something which gave us meaning. And the temptation to find meaning in keeping linked into the lives of others. To be busy in everyone else's 'stuff'. To talk about things which should remain hidden in our hearts. How easy it can be to find ourselves restructuring our lives, our time, around that which seems important, but misses the true needs here and now. The risk in sharing that, is in sounding as if Im saying, that Facebook is entirely wrong and that I am better than those who still have Facebook. The decision to close my account wasnt because I have this internal fortitude against needing to belong, or because Im so Godly a person that 'that' place, isnt tempting for me to dwell. It was simply this: God showed me something more. Something worth the risk of 'disconnecting'. Something worth the sacrifice of not being in the know. Something far more precious than any minute, hour or moment I can spend getting to know others through their pages..... He showed me the calling I have. Right here. Right now. These precious lives in my care in the now. My family. I reflected how fast the years have already passed. I reflected with brutal honesty my tendency to get up in the mornings and jump on Facebook for ten or so minutes. Just ten minutes. But it wasnt just. It was ten minutes that I was spending doing something other than making my husbands lunch, or fixing him a hot drink before he headed out the door. Ten minutes to minister to this man of mine. To smile at the kids, to engage with them around the breakfast table. The question of having a Facebook page isnt how Godly your page is, and how encouraging your writing can be, or how wonderful a platform of ministry it can provide. There are many good and valid reasons to have a Facebook page. A whole list of them. But there is one question that we should ask ourselves: When we say yes to something, we are saying no to something else. What are we saying "no" to? For me, ten minutes of me time on Facebook first thing in the morning, was saying "yes" to being busy in others lives, and "no" to taking a wonderful opportunity to minister to my hubby. Answering the phone in the middle of the homeschool morning says "yes" to the person on the line, and "no" to being at my kids side in the learning. Taking on awesome ministry opportunities is exciting and hugely tempting.. but even those can be "yes" to ministry outside the home, and "no" to ministry right within your own walls. I had a friend recently ask me "How are you getting on staying connected with people?". I thought it over for a while. I realized how my needs had changed, I strangely felt less lonely, and less out of the loop. It wasn't that my time was filled instead with coffee catch ups or long phone calls, but rather, the sense of fulfillment my heart was feeling to be completely engaged with the here and now. I will have hours to burn in years to come, for coffee, chats, phone calls and even ministry.. but I will never have the time again, watching these precious lil ones grow up, hearing their stories, making their breakfast and having them come down the stairs bleary eyed in pajamas wanting porridge. I wont lie. It is hard work. It doesnt always feel fulfilling. But when Im saying "yes" to them, I know, Im saying "yes" to Jesus. And you can bet, I know thats worth it all.