The Hidden Person...

New King James Version ^"Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." 1 Pet 3:3

For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. Col 3:3

But we speak the wisdom of God in a mystery, the hidden wisdom which God ordained before the ages for our glory. 1 Cor 2:7

I will give you the treasures of darkness And hidden riches of secret places, That you may know that I, the Lord, Who call you by your name, Am the God of Israel. Isaiah 45:3

 

And He has made My mouth like a sharp sword; In the shadow of His hand He has hidden Me, And made Me a polished shaft; In His quiver He has hidden Me.” Isaiah 49:2

 

Therefore do not fear them. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known. Matt 10:26

 

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. Mat 13:44

 

 

 

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

I love you Jesus, yours, Fleur.

Hidden in Him...

One of my favourite books ever, is Corrie Ten Boom 'The Hiding Place'. A story of a woman who survives Ravensbruck, being sent there after hiding jews in a small room in her house, to save their lives.
Its an incredible story of courage, bravery, trust, forgiveness. In my teens I lost count of how many times I read and read the story, its message soaking deep into the core of my being.. that no matter how much we suffer, God is there, more present, more real than our deepest fears.

This morning I read this verse Isaiah 49: 2
"And He has made My mouth like a sharp sword;
In the shadow of His hand He has hidden Me,
And made Me a polished shaft;
In His quiver He has hidden Me.”

The past couple of days I have cried out to God more than ever. Seeking God for a courage, a wisdom, a holiness that is NOTHING to do with my own, and everything to do with Him. 
Oh how faithful He was to answer. And his answer was not as I would expect, He simply spoke to me this "I have hidden you in me".

Like Corrie Ten Boom, not hidden from trouble, trials, temptations, pain... hidden, in Him, to be refined. Hidden to be sharpened. Hidden to be polished and ready to be an instrument of truth, an instrument ready for His service. Sometimes simply hidden from the extent of what I am myself, till I am simply lost in Him.

Thank you Jesus that over and over, in my brokenness, I find whole ness and security, peace and rest in You.
You are my souls delight.

More Than Flowers..

Someone once asked me "how do you know Sam will be faithful to you?". It was a valid question. They were questioning my assurance of his commitment to his vows. They'd experienced what it was to be decieved, to have their heart broken, to be cheated on. So their question was simply this: we are all human, therefore, why would you trust in a man?

What a valid question.

No one has shown me a picture of faithfulness here on earth, like Sam has. He had loved me, before he knew me. He had kept all the most precious and deepest things of his heart, just for me, even before I was on the scene. My confidence in his faithfulness was that he proved it, long before I was his, and he was mine.

If I were honest with that friend that day, I would have told her, that if I had anyone I was most doubtful of, it was myself. No, not because I am not wholeheartedly and absolutely enraptured with Samuel James Cahill. But because I am human. Because the Bible speaks clearly "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it" Jeremiah 17:9.

I read a friends post the other day; 'Is anybody a worse enemy to you than you are? Has anyone lied to you more than you've lied to you? Anyone broken promises to you more than you've broken promises to you? No. You're the problem. God is the answer!' Matt Chandler.

Faithfulness Ive found, requires a rawness, requires a sacrifice of pride and a willingness to walk in the light. It requires a broken-ness which yields a fragrance that is so beautiful. Where's is its foundation? The Cross!

Faithfulness starts in the heart. Its the small decisions. Its the transparency with Jesus Christ first, and then one another. Those secret and quiet decisions are so important... its from there that either life or death is borne.

Some things that Ive learnt along the way...

*Fill your minds with good things! For me, faithfulness is not simply keeping my body for Sam, but my heart, mind, attitudes and decisions. Comparison is often the worst way in which we breed unfaithfulness. We compare, and our own insecurities come to the surface. Instead of celebrating anothers joy, we commiserate over our own dissapointments and unmet needs. Ive learnt to take such thoughts quickly to the Cross and remember afresh; only Jesus can fulfill the deepest desires of my life! Ive learnt to think upon the things of God and things that are good, right, pure etc! It not only frees me to love on Sam, but to recieve love from Sam without him having to 'fill my tank'.

*Leave no area out: My Visa card used to have a picture of Sam on it.. simply to remind me everytime I pulled it out "does this financial decision prove faithfulness". The smallest of areas matter! Dont let anything become an area that is 'hidden' from your spouse. If your unmarried, work now to be faithful! Faithfulness starts long before that wedding day. Sam lets me read all his communication from cellphones to facebook messages, and he is welcome to do the same with me. We have friends of the same sex who share things in confidence and its not always wise to confide those things in our spouses.. but as a rule.. there are no secrets! From hidden bags of bought clothing to hidden notes. Its all in the light!

*Think things through to the end. Sometimes as woman, living in moments of insecurity and fear, we can have these fantasies of being whisked off our feet by someone incredibally adoring and wonderful.. and even if for but a flash, something within goes "oh thats appealing". When these thoughts have flashed across my mind, I think them through to the end! Sin is ugly! Suddenly, when Im staring at the end picture, devastated lives, ugliness, unhealthyness, broken-ness, heartache, pain, loss, destroyed lives... its reality no longer even sits on the shelf with any enticement.

*Be accountable. I have friends that I welcome their rebuke and input. I have wisely chosen a few select friends who I can share honestly with. Whose wisdom I welcome. How I conduct myself around others, in how I interact in friendships, and how I live out my life. Their counsel has often been so refreshing in my life. And I know its true when the Bible says that "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." Proverbs 27:6. I want to add here a side note, dont be 'touchy' with such dear friends. Its a risk to them to be honest and they, like you, are learners. Value them, make it easy for them to be real!

*Stay in the Word and pray together. The fastest road to failure is to simply walk without Jesus.
I have some amazing Godly friends who I so look to up to. Their lives radiate the love of Christ. They would cringe if I boasted their perfection. In truth, they are people who have been broken and surrendered to the foot of the Cross. Their stories of redemption testify to Gods grace. They are lives whove been redeemed, whove been lifted out of the mud. And I LOVE them. I love that their lives radiate their daily walk with Him. Pray alone and together. One couple I know, have an auto text that comes up every evening at the same time "pray together". When it beeps, and we are there, I can almost feel the smile of Jesus upon them.

*Lay down your lives for each other. 'Fireproof', is one of my favourite movies ever. He treats her badly, she falls for another man, and their marriage looks shattered. But he comes to the Cross and finds what true love is! From that place, he loves on her, even when unreturned, he keeps winning her heart. He counts no sacrifice too great! Its such a reminder to me... count nothing too much for your spouse.. from cleaning up the kitchen table when you dont feel like, letting your spouse sleep in on Saturday morning when youve been up all night, to giving up the last piece of chocolate or cake. Sometimes I dont 'feel' like doing it! In those times I remember, 'someone' else probably would. Love your spouse, as you do Jesus!!

I love the lyrics of this song..

"I want you to see me
living out my love for you daily
I want you to hear me
adoring you with every word I speak
I want you to catch me
serving you in ways you won't suppose to see
It's then you'll know
Far more than flowers could ever show

Solely HIS

"The preoccupations of young women don't seem to change much from generation to generaton. But in every generation there seem to be a few who make other choices." Elisabeth Elliot.

The Lord has been challenging my heart this week so deeply. I had a dream the other night in which my heart was laid bare before Jesus. There wasnt any words spoken, nor was there a need. All that was there, He knew, and I was yielded. Repentant. Open.

Perhaps it doesn't seem so exciting the idea of being broken and open before Jesus. Yet it was.

For suddenly there was nothing between Him and I.

As Ive gone about this week, the dream has stayed with me. The days passing have brought it meaning. I realize that what He is asking of me, is obedience, a willing choice to honour Him with the smallest of decisions in my heart.

Simple choices as to what I let entertain me. What I choose to listen to. Speak. What I choose to think upon. What I choose to wear. What I glance over. I wonder, if there was a Pinterest board, for these kind of images that we as woman, that I, Fleur, set as 'delights', what would that board look like? If we saw it all collated into one board, would it reflect the things of Jesus Christ?

Its not that I believe that its wrong to like things that are creative and beautiful. I love beautiful things! But does my heart find its fullness and purpose there, or do those things push me further into loving Jesus?

I allowed my heart to consider today, if my souls Pinterest board would boast the character of Christ? Would it be filled with the sweetness of His presence. Would it show time spent on my knees. Would it show images of perfume poured out. Would it have tears of pain for the hurting and broken. Would it show the cross? Would it reflect the powerful radiance of His being? Would it show steadfastness and a willingness to forego comfort for eternal joy?

I want that knowing of HIS life. I want a life that reflects as Psalm 1, a woman whose delight is in the Lord. Wholeheartedly and singularly His. A heart that seeks His opinion, that prefers Him. A life that lives for His praise. Eyes that light up with His truth.

Jesus. I hear your call. I hear you beckoning me above the dreams for which Ive defined myself. I hear you calling me into dreams of things Ive yet to know. And I will obey.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgcO1a3hzfo

Beyond earthly logic

Its hard to define the past week. Ive felt tired, for varying reasons.

We made a huge decision to travel back to the UK in a couple of months, with the oldest and youngest of our kiddly winks, to see Sams Nans 100th. Then Sam got news that the lump on his eyelid and his shoulder are both Basal Cell Carcinoma's and will need them both cut out. Then there is the sense of change in Sams workplace and the dynamics that need attending to. I had a homeschooling exemption to write this weekend, admist booking plane tickets, accommodation, sorting out details and trying to juggle sick kids in amongst it all.
And that just kind of touches the surface really...

Im meant to be training for a trail run in July and a half marathon in August, I have homeschooling goals and objectives that need my attention, along with accounts, emails and birthdays to organise. Friends going through big stuff and relationships that I need to love on. My kids are in dire need of a sense of routine that actually realistically matches the demands on us right now, and Im behind on meeting the goals Ive set for character growth. Amy is being toilet trained in the midst of it. Nate needs a little surgical operation. 2 are on antibiotics and 2 on creams, and each need the reminder of how much they are loved.

The house needs to be decluttered, systems need refining, the pantry needs sorting, the kids wardrobes need re organzing. My learning room needs time to reflect a place of order, my sewing room sits neglected.

And its not that I can just sweep in with my priority list and break it all up into bite size pieces and attack it with methodical brilliance. Oh Id like to, given half the chance... but I hear my Father calling...

for beyond the abilty to ration out my time, to seize the moment is this call in my heart... the one thing that echoes above it all is the resounding call... PRAY PRAY PRAY...

¹⁶ Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5

It defies a sense of earthly logic. And yet He calls me to it.

Prayer lifts my soul out of the demands and expectations of the now. It lifts my focus off me, off my own perspective, off the limits of my human and weak flesh and onto His faithfulness. Prayer believes upon a God who can heal, who can multiply the hours of my day, who can refresh and restore. Prayer calls upon the hordes of heaven to act on my behalf in my home, in my schooling, in my relationships and plans. Prayer aligns my priorities and goals to those of heaven. 

Do I really think that it can make that great a difference in the chaos and busyness of the now? Ask my soul! My soul beats "yes, yes, yes". My heart dances to the tune of a maker who sings "I am". My flesh waits upon a God who has worked marvels in the past, and who isnt finished with me yet!

On my knees I will change the pattern of today and days gone by. On my knees I will wrestle and grasp a vision and passion for a Life that is more than just what I taste. On my knees I fall in love with my Heavenly Father. On my knees my heart is quieted, my demands stilled, my eyes are lifed unto Him.

Oh Father, let my life honour you. I will pray.

 Effectual, fervent prayer is how God changes this world and bestows upon it the beauty, grace and power that He purchased at the cross.”
 Leslie Ludy

His radiance...

Yesterday I ran around the Mount in the early morning. As per usual, my head was down, my mind entirely focussed on one foot in front of the other.. and so I journeyed the entire route. I planned to do it again a second time, only suddenly my focus was caught by the sight in front of me. The risen sun was still blazing orange in the horizon, highlighting the ship in front of it, into a flaming glory, and I couldnt make my feet to move beyond it. I plonked myself in front of it contentedly. The smell of waffles filled the air from the cafe across the road, busy early risers exercised back and forth around me. I felt Jesus whisper to me "Talk to me". Oh where to begin Father. Its been too long. How can I talk to you Lord every day, and yet not 'talk'? How can I go about so many weeks and days in a sense of striving, or is it just a shallow acceptance of status quo? How did I so miss that knowing that my heart beats in time with Yours?
And I hear you command me again.. ALL!. I know it already, I know that there can be nothing else besides you, I know  I need you more than anything.
My heart comes once again into the fullness of Your glorious light and like that ship, I know Im lost in your radiance, that your all consuming FIRE must burn in me completley. And it does. And I find myself at your feet again, my heart lost once more in a love that I dont deserve.
Thankyou Father for not leaving my heart in that shaded space, to not letting me be anything but %100 lost in you.