My husband *is* my soul mate

Thats going to go down like a lead balloon I know.
But its true.
In the light of the popular viral email regarding there being no 'The One', Id like to beg to differ.
Id like to present my story...

Sam and I met on the doorstep of a home in Paparoa. Our meeting was divine in itself.

My brother, Chris, had travelled half way around the world to Texas to do a missions course. Sams eldest sister, Kathy, had travelled from where they lived in England, to Texas to do the same course.

A few years later, Kathy and her family decided to emmigrate to NZ. Kathy came out first and caught up with Chris, and met my family. Kathy herself said that from the outset, she thought I would be a good match for Sam.

Eventually the rest of the Cahill clan travelled out to NZ, except Sam. Our families got on great. One autumn day, my brother and I travelled up to spend time with the Cahills in Paparoa. And so it was, that on that day in1997, that I knocked on the door, and Sam answered and we met for the first time.

I dont know that I believe in love at first sight. But I will never forget that day. We immediately hit it off. We talked, we related and conversed as if we had known each other. I remember thinking of him "its like Ive known him forever". We brought mugs together on that day.. I still have mine! Sam told me he knew from that moment that we would marry. I distinctly recall having a conversation with God about this new guy, and how 'kindred' our spirits felt. And God whispered to me "come away with me, let me hold you in the secret places till its time to bloom".

It was many more years before God brought us together. And until then, my feelings for Sam sat sleeping, not even I, aware of them.

In the interim, yes, I did have my list for attributes I wanted in a future husband. But it wasnt on paper as much as it was in my heart. I cannot find any list in any journals, but I did keep a careful scripted journal of ways in which I was preparing my heart for 'The One'. Prayers I prayed, decisions I made to choose best over good. Commitments I made to honour him 'all the days of my life' before I knew him. Mostly my journal was a record of Gods work in my life, things He spoke to me. Sometimes I specifically asked God how to pray for my future husband.. and there were times He did show me. Some of those times, I now know exactly what was going on in Sams life there and smile at how I was a part of it  :)

I admit, I did believe I was going to marry a pastors son. It was ridiculously cliche, yet what I knew I wanted, was a man who loved God with all his heart. And this was my youthful definition of what that man looked like. I also knew I would marry a foreigner. Dont ask me why, I just knew.

Years and maturing hapenned and it was now 2001. Kathy was getting married. Sam had been over in America doing a Bible college course for 3 years, but was home for his sisters wedding. And I was her bridesmaid. We met up again at the engagement party. Sam ignored me for most of the night then eventually sat beside me and pulled out an album of his recent missions trip to China. It was obvious to look through his photos, that he was in love with Jesus. I determined to never act in a way that disrespected his passion for the Lord. To me that meant keeping my feelings buried, but my heart was falling for the Sam I was getting to know. We had many long conversations and each time we did, I grew more and more to respect this man.

Still I refused to allow myself to get caught up in any girlish notions or whims, and to treat Sam as a brother. The night before Kathy's wedding I sat on my bed upstairs in the Cahill home, reading and praying and wrote in my diary "God I want to marry someone just like Sam". A few moments later, Kathy sent me downstairs to grab a vase of water for her. It was late. I crept down so as not to disturb anyone, and there was Sam, coming to meet me with the hairbrush Id left out. We sat in the lounge and talked for a long time. About life, where we were at. .


The following day was the wedding. I worked hard to hide any growing feelings, but I was surprised at how warm Sam acted towards me. Towards the evening, I looked over at Sam and God spoke to me "He is your husband".  I reprimanded myself not to let my heart get ahead. The wedding was a special time of ministry for me and in particular, God had spoken to me about His faithfulness, and how He is able to bring good to me, even out of my mistakes. Kathy had chosen a song by Sara Groves called "He's Always Been Faithful". I loved it and purposed to go out that week and buy the CD.

That same wedding evening Sam arranged with my dad to come down a week or so later, "to help paint the walls" in our lounge. My curiosity of that situation was overtaken by how God had spoken to me through the Sara Groves song. My heart was lost in Gods tenderness and I decided I would go out and buy the CD. I was perplexed however, that when I went to buy it, I felt God tell me to wait.
That Saturday Sam turned up at our home to help me dad paint our lounge, and I immediately found myself 'girlish' in his presence. I drove off to my workplace, then as a Church secretary, and spent literally all day, tucked inside the office on my day off, keeping busy and determining to myself not to be distracted.

Finally my dad rung me late in the afternoon "sweetheart, you need to come home. I dont think Sam came to paint the walls honey". It was late that night, tense and tired from fighting this growing love, that Sam sat me down in my parents lounge, ready for 'the talk'. I was armed. I had my speech ready. I too had read the dating books and knew what to say. He would ask me if I had any feelings and I would reply "I am saving myself for 'The One' and until then, sorry, I do not want any dating relationships". The only caution I had in my spirit from the Lord was to be completely honest. That was all. I felt hugely confident in how this would unfold.

The lights were low and Sam pulled out a present for me. I opened it up and there was the Sara Groves CD that I had wanted. "How did he know?" I asked myself. He didnt.. but now he had my attention and my walls were starting to crumble.
Next came the talk. But instead of the speech I expected, he asked me simply this "are you attracted to me?". What?! I thought. What does attraction have to do with anything? But I remembered God cautioning me so I replied honestly "well, yes I am". I looked up into Sam's face and an indescribable knowing came over me. I was staring into the eyes of the man I would marry. I had known him all along but never known it was him. Was he everything I wanted on my list? You bet, and more!

Sam and I laughed as we talked and shared how the events had unfolded. His mum and Aunty had been in on the action, already approving his decision to come and talk to me. He had shared everything with his family and got all of their advice and counsel to begin a life with me. The following day Sam sat down with my parents and got their permission to court me with the purpose to marry me.

A year later, we married, our first kiss on our wedding day.

I know that not everyone has such a story. But oneday I will sit my own daughter down and I will want to give her Godly counsel to prepare her heart for the man she will marry.

I will counsel her to make a personal commitment for purity. That like me, she doesnt need a purity ring to mark the occasion, but a willingness to trust God that He has her best in mind.

I will counsel her to believe for Gods best, and to therefore live her life accordingly. To pray for a prince, and to behave as a princess.

I will counsel her to not make lists of ideals, but to share her deepest desires with God, and to keep her emotions, dreams and longings hidden between her and her heavenly Father. To trust that He knows the deepest longings of her heart.

I will counsel her to believe that God cares about the tiniest details and that just as He divinely lead many men and woman through the Bible, that He can also divinely lead her path

I will counsel her to save all of her heart, mind and body for the man who will win her heart

I will counsel her to remember that he is a man, a sinner and saved and therefore she will have to love him sometimes, when he is not loveable, and not find her fulfillment in him, but to be an encouraging strength and beauty in his life

I will counsel her that when she is willing to yield her plans to God and let Him hold the pen, that he can author the sort of love story that is a taste of heaven

I will counsel her to pray for peace that passes understanding and divine confirmation of Gods approval of their lives, because like us, when you have that, you never ask yourself "was this a good choice?"

I will counsel her that 'good' often arrives before 'best'. And to be willing to wait for Gods best. To never allow fear to motivate her decisions, or to worry that she will have to settle for good enough.

And when my daughter comes home from camp and tells me she cant wait to meet the man God has for her to marry, I will tell her "Me too sweetheart. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart". Just like my own mum did.

At this point, I want to take a moment to honour my parents. Mum and Dad, thankyou for never getting caught up in the 'purity ring' craze, or any trendy Christian 'thing' for that matter. I realised that I didnt need to be following any Christian 'trend' to have Gods best. Even when I nagged you and implied that you werent doing the best for me. Thank you for the countless times you quietly pulled me aside and counselled me. For reminding me to be like Sarah in the Bible and not give way to fear. Thankyou for the times you encouraged me to wait and trust God. You never painted an unrealistic expectation of a Mr Perfect who would turn up and be my all, you reminded me to love Jesus first, and that there would be a man for me. Dad, you cherished and loved me, and in return, my greatest expectation for a husband was just to be cherished that way. My ideals were high because you made me feel so treasured. And I was not disappointed.
Thankyou that when Sam turned up, you recognised his character and his intentions. If it werent for that, I might not have ever had that talk with him that night.
Thankyou for welcoming Sam into our lives, for giving my hand in marriage to Sam and for loving us as one.
Thankyou for a wedding day marked with so much beauty, so much blessing and detail. You made me feel like I was a rich and precious treasure and I felt so honoured by all your sacrifice and generosity.
Thankyou for your example and for being the BEST grandparents to our kids that they could ask for.

We love you. xxx