Radiant

The other night, my eldest 9yr old son remarked that a storm was going to hit Tauranga. Not one for accuracy, he had overestimated the weather report. Still it was obviously enough to instill fear in my little 6yr old son, Ben, even though he didnt say anything.

The following morning, Ben appeared, he blinked his eyes open "hey mum, the tornado didnt ruin anything". We laughed together, I told him it had barely even rained.

He then told me how he had a dream that night. That a tornado was going to hit our home. I stopped in my tracks when he said "but there was a man in our house. He was big like daddy, no bigger than daddy, he was like daddy but it wasnt him. He wasnt one of us. He even let me snuggle him whenever I liked.   Here he paused, as his eyes lit up and his face glowed.. and he continued... and he kept our house safe. The house creaked a little, but it was fine" and off he went to pour himself rice bubbles.

But I, I could barely hold the lump in my throat. I blinked back through tears.

Imagine. Imagine a father that never minded you to climb onto your lap for snuggles, never minded you to seek comfort.. that was there for you, no matter how big and scary the storm outside.

And we have that Father!

God spoke to not just Ben, but to me. The accummulation of 'stuff' lately for me has felt tiring. I have felt my soul beginning to cower, diving for cover, trembling of the threatening storm. Its not one thing, just an amass of little things that mount up to a ominous weather report, hand delivered to my door by Satan himself.

The unfamiliarity of his knock is disguised by the messengers he sent earlier, to distract me. Im too busy weighing up how accurate the accusations of undeservedness are, that were thrown against me, to consider if his foreboding message is true. Surely, I tell myself, I have allowed and brought upon myself . Its me. If I could only do this, or do that, better, I would better have control of life?

Joy seeps out of my life, robbed from me with every accusation that the enemy drives in further.

So it was yesterday morning that I whispered to Jesus "can I climb on your lap?"

You know what he replied ;
"I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
    he delivered me from all my fears. 
 Those who look to him are radiant;
    their faces are never covered with shame."

You know, the enemy will always drive us to look inside ourselves. Occupied by our complete inadequacy, we either get sidelined by fighting back to prove ourselves, or in drawing away in hate of who we are.
The answer to the storms in our lives, is never that we need to try to muster some internal change or attempt a renovation of our circumstances. Right in the midst of it, He lifts our eyes heavenward.. and there, and there only, is a security. And what marks me? RADIANCE! No accusation sticks, no shame, no fear, no measuring of who I am... but a life that reflects Him! 

Just like my favourite story "You are Special" by Max Lucado, the stars and dots dont stick. And all that matters is that we know we are His.