Gratefulness

I sat with my list of things I want to see changed in our life. It was a mental list, but I had it down packed none the same. It had a few recommendations for improvement for myself.. but definately more for Sam. Being the vast woman of wisdom (and experience) I am, cough, I knew better than to attempt such a 'Life Performance Critique' in the hours before work. But more than that, I had that edgy kind of caution... you know... where you just about feel God slapping his Hand over your mouth saying "keep quiet". The Word of God has a lot to say about a word spoken in season, knowing when to hold your tongue, and sometimes, just not saying anything at all. So when I sat yesterday morning, ready to get out of bed, God put a restraint on my heart: Fast and pray. As the day wore on, my growling tummy seemed to be more of a tune of inner groaning, God reckoning my will unto His. And in quietly petitioning God for more of Him, I sensed His promptings as the day wore on. "Why dont you cook Sam his favourite meal tonight"... good idea God, okay, I will do that. "Why dont you tidy the house for him?".. yeah, good idea again God. I will do that. "Fleur, why dont you meditate on all the things you are so grateful for in him, and trust me to change the things which I want to change"... yeah, great idea there God. Youre right, I will do that. "Fleur, what about your heart?".... Ungratefulness stared back at me, from the mirror of Gods Word to my soul. I saw clearly how the enemy wanted to cultivate it there, to build a wall between Sam and I. To distract our focus from Gods work, and onto our human effort. I saw clearly how my ungrateful spirit built a wall that would bring hurt and destruction. God prompted me "what are the things youre grateful for?".. I couldnt stop listing all those things. They came quickly and easily to me, and the more I thought about them, the more a spirit of gentleness and joy grew within me. Sam came home and we greeted each other with a tender smile "how was your day?". His had been hard. Really hard. "Thank you for cooking my favourite meal" he said. I quietly replied "youre welcome" (thank you God for putting it on my heart). As I cleaned up the kitchen quickly (once again thankful for Gods promptings to have the dishwasher emptied and ready to go), I talked to the Lord about the things on my heart. He had already known what this day held for Sam and for I, and He was saying to me this "Keep your eyes fixed on me". Later that evening, Sam and I sat down to talk. I shared with Him what God had been showing me through the day. Tears welled up inside when Sam told me what a joy it was to come home and see the house tidy, see the learning room sparkling, smell his favourite meal cooking and to have a sense in his home, that love reigned there. Instead of words filled with anger and frustration, we expressed to each our gratitude. We even talked about the things that I could see that needed changing, but how small they suddenly seemed in comparison to my heart that morning. Gratefulness builds. Proverbs 14:1 14 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. How easily we can tear down the very thing we want to build, through our harsh words and responses, our unwillingess to restrain the voice of fear. How wise the woman who knows that, and cultivates a spirit of joy and gratitude that functions above what is natural.. because her eyes are fixed upon her maker.