A message from Tim to me

I went for a walk yesterday evening with Tim.
I invited him along on my "lets march uphill, get this baby moving, and pray" hike.
As we pounded the pavement, we prayed. For baby to turn, for labour to start, for friendships for Tim..
Tim asked me, as we headed home "Mum what can I pray for you?". I reiterated my biggest hope.. that this baby boy will arrive asap, that he will get into a good labour decision, that I wont go over my due date. Etc.

And then as we walked, he began to preach to me a little lesson that cut to the core.
He reminded me, that life is a series of tests, of moments of learning to trust God. He likened life to going through valleys and mountains and how often we find ourselves at a cave door, something we didn't chose or want, but something we have to walk through. He talked to me about King David and Moses and the choices they made (and didnt make) to trust God and by the time he near finished I was just wanting to kneel on the pavement and say "okay God, I will trust you!".

I thanked him and kissed him goodnight and tried to sleep while quietly wrestling with the words he challenged me with. Each vigorous kick and wriggle junior made, reminded me how very out of control I am. And I spent a restless night falling between trust in the Lord and wondering how many ways I could attempt to bring on labour.

Morning soon arrived and we started the day super early at the chiropractor. I felt sure if anyone would be able to get baby to turn, it would be my chiro. He adjusted my stiff hip (instant relief) and together we mused how incredibly active this wee boy is, with his octopus limbs and unwillingness to stay still long enough to engage in any position that indicates an imminent arrival.

And as we left, I felt as deflated as they come.

All day my mind turned back to the little sermon Tim had preached me the night before. The decision I have to trust the Lord, or to fall into my emotions and weariness. Id like to say I managed it successfully today, but there were moments where I blinked back some tears and sighed.. and moments where I remembered who my Lord is.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills, whence does my help come from" Psalm 121.

How easy to fall victim to fear and despondency, when circumstance is not what we wanted.
How great to realise there is a God who is BIGGER than it all.