Pockets of Hope...

I sat down yesterday and finally began to assemble the Advent Calendar Id printed off Belle and Boo.
Its pretty cute!.. I mean.. take a look at it!!

There are 25 bags to print, each with its own utterly sweet image and then you glue it into a little bag which you fill with whatever you fancy.

Okay, so granted I was 11 days late, or so, on this one. But I had already purchased the chocolate window pre made ones back in November. We dutifully opened those on Dec 1st after a couple of weeks of patient waiting on the kids part. Somehow, come a week or so into it, those windows got emptied one morning. It wasnt the act itself that cracked me up, but the guilty confession that followed when first, daughter, woke me up and showed me all the windows, 'lights on' and glistening back at me their empty wee plastic inner.

I laughed. My laughter beguiled the time waiting for test results.. the quiet fears I held that I had developed gestational diabetes with this pregnancy.. just like I had when I was pregnant with my firstborn. And what that meant, for me, for baby and how the weeks to come would look like.

Finally, this week I got my first results back. Yup, high.
And I had a choice to make with my emotions.

I sat in the car a few moments and collected my thoughts and asked myself some questions about how I might respond that day. Admist all the other demands, I had now to fit in more blood tests, a scan, specialist appointments and decisions on whats best for baby.. right on Christmas. Add that to no sugar in the diet and careful calculating of what Im eating, exercise, wrapping up homeschooling.. oh and 4 precious bundles who need me functioning.
Dont even get me started on the post partum fears and complications and the expressing off colostrum 4 times a day so as to prepare baby for a healthy start on life.

There was just one thing that day - I couldnt lose it. Not right then. Not in that moment. I needed to delve into a place of peace that required me to do that which goes above my human logic: Grab from the moment, the peace, the hope, the confidence, the belief that God really does work ALL things for good... in a Christian sense, rip open the advent window of faith that was mine, for just today. And not just today, but tomorrow too, and the days after that.

So as I went about that afternoon, functioning somewhat normally, I told my fears again and again "God really does work all things for good, dont you worry!".

Instead of dwelling on the fears, the expected appointments and how they will dominate life, I planned life around those things. I might have just been tempted to put treats in the sweet Belle and Boo bags.. but instead each one holds a neat family activity each day, just to celebrate life together, before baby arrives: tenpin bowling, movies, swimming, picnics, parks, light trail, crafts, just to name a few.

Suddenly theyre more than just sweet advent bags to me, but a reminder of how God wants us to face life. Not with dread, or worry about whats in store. But the hope that REGARDLESS of whats going on in our circumstances, Gods grace, love and hope is more than enough. That He has a joy and promise for us each day, that is sufficient to our needs. That He is working good, even when we cant see it.