Sunday, 25 September 2011

He guides me along the right paths.. Psalm 23

1.The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He provides for me all my needs. Right now I am believing and waiting on him for 2 things: something really practical and fun for the kids outside, like a trampoline. And a pair of flattering feminine jeans. The latter sounds trifle but Ive always just rushed out to get what I need/want when it comes to my wardrobe. I really want to honour Him in my wardrobe and let this be an area which reflects His loving provision. Matthew 6:27 And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
 3 he refreshes my soul.
Often I look to other things for refreshment. Time away from the kids. A good book. Time in front of the computer. A bit of craft. But my Father knows what I need before I even need it. He knows the need of my heart and soul for being nourished and ministered to and takes care of it. I can trust Him to fill my soul with the deepest measures of peace as I wait and rest in Him.

He guides me along the right paths
   for his name’s sake.  
His hand is in mine, He is faithful to keep me close.

4 Even though I walk
   through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
   for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
   they comfort me.
When the path is narrow and dark, just like in my vision, He is there. He will not let me fall. He will hold me and walk with me. I dont need to be afraid of the unknowns, of the impending disasters that the world fears... He is there!

You prepare a table before me
   in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
   my cup overflows.
He provides and esteems me, right in front of my enemies!

Surely your goodness and love will follow me
   all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
Look upon my life and see His favour. It is with me wherever I go. And then I will walk into the presence of the Lord for all eternity 

Thursday, 22 September 2011

Jeremiah 33:3

This was the first ever memory verse I learned as a wee girl "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and marvellous things you do not know". Its inscribed upon my heart. It awakened in me a passion, a longing, a promise.. that if I call upon my Lord, if I see Him, He will whisper in my ear the secrets of heaven, He will open up the eyes of my faith to the things only He sees.
The only way I can describe this week is through that verse. Its as if God has reawakened a longing in me to live ABOVE the worlds perspective, I no longer want to be a mere Christian dwelling here, doing my time. I want to dare to believe and dream that I can live in the fullness of the presence of Jesus. That my life can be lost in Him. That my eyes will see what He sees. That my ears will hear the things of heaven.
And yes, Im scared. Scared not of what I will see and hear. Scared I will slowly allow the busyness of life, the things of this world, creep over my life and bring about dullness. I keep asking Jesus "keep my eyes on you Father". Today He whispered to me "Ive never let you go.. I wont stop holding you near". Just like spring has let its presence be known with the upcoming blossoms and warmth of the sun, I feel like Jesus has let spring come into my soul. And I am rich because of it.

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

Just as he had done before.

I read the other night again through the last chapters of Daniel, from 6 on. We know the story.. Daniel prays and gets thrown into the Lions Den and survives unscratched. But Ive skipped over a few poignant words in this story many times.. 6:10 "giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before".
See the pattern of prayer and thanksgiving has to be in place as a discipline of life.. because the hard times do come and the tests and persecution can be expected. The discipline to hold to the truth is there because He, our Father, has proven Himself over and over.
Eric Ludy calls it tensile strength.. the pressure a material can handle before it deforms, ie rope, metal etc. Tensile is strength is measured in adding weight a bit at a time.. and in the life of Daniel, his tensile strength was surely put to the test when he faced the Lions! But it had been grown in the quiet places of secret devotion, prayer and thanksgiving.. the who knows how many days and years before he faced the miracle.
For me as a mum... today Im tired. Tensile strength. Im learning I can cope with much less sleep than I deem necessary. I remember when Tim had colic and I was thrust into sleepless nights where day and night he would scream for 2hrs, every few hours. During those first couple of exhausting months, I felt I would go insane with fatigue and stress. Tensile strength.. by Gods grace I coped. I wouldnt want to repeat them in a heartbeat, but God used them to strengthen in me an awareness that BY HIS GRACE AND ENERGY we can get through the days to come.. like that song "because He lives, I can face tomorrow". God, may your abounding strength and joy be the sustenance of my day.. be to me my daily bread. Grow in me a backbone that is not my own. 

Monday, 19 September 2011

Im waiting, waiting on you Lord

My hubby climbed the Mount this morning, his heart just to cry out and seek our Lord on the many decisions that face us right now. They arent so much decisions that press.. just that we want to make sure that we are exactly where Christ would have us. Aligned to His Word and perfect will. Not just good. Not just well. But His BEST. Like His Word.. "Seek first". We havent always "sought first" His Kingdom.. in truth, there have been areas of our life where we intended to do that, but have somehow just tagged Him in,.. areas where we have been less that sold out for Him. Weve committed the next few days to praying apart for direction on whether we should stay in our present home. We will come together on Friday night and see what we feel God is saying. Im so excited. I couldnt care if we were to sell or stay put or move to a shed.. I just so yearn to know that we are precisely where He would see us most fit for His Kingdom.
I managed to get myself out of bed this morning at 6:30am to pray. This is by no means heroic in the terms of the saints.. but a step for me. I crept down the stairs and the moment I sat to pray, my heart was filled with excitement. Joy for the anticipation of being in His presence. I quickly realised that Im going to have to set my alarm earlier.. 30min barely seems enough time to pour out my heart, let alone hear His. But I rejoice because He is here. In my home. In my heart. Lord, Im surrendered.

Im thankful too because my dear Nate has a virus at the moment and spent all afternoon yesterday coughing. I prayed. Last night he slept beautifully and hardly coughed! This is something of a miracle, I was fully prepared for the onslaught of Ventolin and no sleep.. but God heard my cry. Thankyou God!

As I go about today, Im really excited to be able to rest all my promises and dreams upon the Lord. To not have to plan, vex, write up mission statements or be anxious for any of the things He has in store. His Word says "seek first His kingdom, and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you". I know my role is to PRAY PRAY PRAY! I cant wait Lord to see what You will do, when You see fit.. I will wait on You. I love you God. Your princess. Fleur

Sunday, 18 September 2011

Thinning out the carrots

When I was reading my Word and praying last night, I got a picture of our lives being like a crop of carrots in the process of being thinned. When you put the seeds in the ground, you throw in many and then as they grow, you pull every other seedling out.. to make room for the others to grow big. I realised how very much our life is like that at the moment... full of little babies (figurative, not literal).. baby dreams, hopes, plans, details etc. I felt Gods call to prioritize the important, to look to Him to bring the order we crave and so need.
Sam and I got together, and we prayed. We talked, we pour out our hearts. We sat staring at each other and confessed we wouldnt continue to go another month, another year, with life staying the same. We would dare to make the necessary sacrifices, dare to lose sleep to seek a deeper walk with Jesus, dare to let go of anything that holds us in a rut.
I woke this morning and I have prayed. Every moment I can. Im praying for God to move in our lives, to be our hands, our feet, our hearts, our eyes, our breath. Im praying for God to give us a fresh understanding of the depth of His love for us and the lost. And to not just understand it. But to live in the power of it. I wait with baited breath for the light upon our path as we seek Him earnestly as to whether we stay here or move. As to His purpose for Sams work. As to His vision for our children. As to His heart for the ministry of our lives. Oh Lord, on You we wait.


One morning, I went into the kitchen and began making a hot drink. I turned around and Sam froze in his steps and gave me a command: "Don't move". My heart instantly pounded in my chest while I stopped dead in my tracks. Everything in me wanted to scream, run and panic. I had no idea what 'fear' lurked upon my shoulder, and I wasn't sure I wanted to know. I looked to Sam's eyes for assurance, but his eyes were scanning for a blunt nearby object for which he could admit the blow of death, to this 'thing' on my shoulder. I finally mustered some measure of courage to look at my shoulder, and saw a large White Tailed spider, creeping slowly down my bare shoulder. Instinct finally kicked in and I flung it off with my hand, let out a decent scream, falling into Sam's arms in tears.

You see, these spiders have a reputation as being dangerous, apparently they cause infection, disease, pain, even hospitilization. And our home often gets them. The very sight of one leaves me paralyzed. I can barely muster up the courage to squish it.. and my skin stands on end when I watch them slowly crawl along the walls. They usually come out at night which is worse.. right on climbing into bed to rest, one has to do a surveillance of the ceilings to make sure they wont be crawling onto my pillow... or worse, in my sheets.

But here is the reality: there is little evidence actually pointing to the horrible danger of a white tail spider. There are stories, but few actually documented and precisely linked to the potential of their bite. There are factors, and always worst case scenarios... but in truth, it seems most need little more than a course of antibiotics to clear up any (if any) residual infection caused by their bite. Im not saying that I want to play guinea pig to prove the point! :).. but isnt fear like that?
Full of foreboding and worst case scenarios, lurking about in dark places, creeping in on your most peaceful hour ready to deliver the blow. Hearts full of adrenalin, we start to panic.

The enemy of our souls uses fear everyday to control us like puppets. Foreboding sits on our shoulder delivering threats, whispering untruth and torment into our souls, so that were paralyzed and panicked.

Oh how very far from that does Jesus want us to live.
I love Psalm 23 "Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil". Why, why wouldn't I fear??.... "for you are with me".
Back last month, a dear woman of God, Melva Moyle, unexpectedly died. She had lived through an illness that she should not have survived, she had learnt to walk again, run, bike. She glowed. She smiled and beamed the presence of God. At her funeral, her son spoke and said "thankyou for giving me the gift of dying without fear". She walked through the valley.. but she wasnt afraid.. why? Because God was there.

Freedom from fear is not just a nice poetic concept, its a reality we can walk in. Its not just pumped up in positive thinking. Its not building our lives on the untruth that we will know no pain, or that spiders wont ever lurk on our shoulders. Our lives are not free from trouble. They never will be. But they can be free from fear!

Im hungry not just to know that power more in my own life, but to see a generation of people around me live in the power of truth that will set them free. To this end, and to this beginning, I mark this blog.
This week I have set my path on a new course. To not dilly about in the valleys of passivity, to not just pander with the pansies and enjoy the freedom of the meadows, but to dare to delve into the rocky high roads, to tredge through the muddy paths, the slippery slopes. I dont go alone. Jesus holds me ALL the way. I dedicate this blog to the power of His hand in mine, and the promise that our prayers wont go unheard and the anticipated joy as I see Him come through.

Come with me!